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User blog:UberGamer/BC2 FTW Episode 1: The Death of Bobby Sanford
Location:Atacama Desert , US Base Time:1300 Zulu Time Cpl. Larson:...so, as I was saying.. I know this one chick named Kaylynn back in the States, and she can- Sanford: Hey guys, mount up. We're starting the assault. Sgt."Steve" Wilson:(mockingly)"hey guys, we're mounting the assault"... do you have to tell us EVERYTHING?! Besides, who told you?! Sanford:(pointing to large Marine convoy passing by) Those guys. (Sanford walks away) Steve: Damnit, why is he always right? ...Larson? Larson: (looking at ground) Ooo...a chip. Steve:Larson! Larson: (chewing) What? I'm just eating. Steve:Just get in the Humvee, Larson. ---- Convoy Marine:Roger that,Echo 2, this is Dagger 1-1. We are en route to Base Station Bravo, over. (fizzing sound) Steve: Larson, what the hell? Larson: (sipping Fizz Cola) What? I'm thirsty. Here, have some. Sanford:Driver, what is that? Larson:Oh, just an anti-tank mine. Steve& Sanford: OH SHIT!!!!! Larson:You know, this reminds me of a time when me and this girl went on a drive and- (Larson suddenly realizes Humvee is empty) Laron: Guys, what the f- BOOM!!! ---- The Battle Of Atacama Desert Larson: '''Hey guys. What's the haps? '''Sanford: What happened to you? Larson: Oh, I just died, that's all. Steve: What happened to your face? (Larson shoots Steve in face with MP412) Sanford: Larson, what the hell?!!! Larson:Oh, it's fine. He'll respawn soon. Sanford:But you just shot him! In the face! Larson:You know, Sanford, you are being a real douchebag now, and I have another round in this thing. Sanford: What, you're going to shoot me in the face too? Larson: No, I was thinking of shooting you in the- (sniper shot rings out and hits Larson in head) (both Steve and Larson spawn on opposite sides of road at position A) Larson: Hey, Steve, pass me the other cola. Steve: Is this really the time for this? Larson: Do you want another hole in your head? (Steve throws soda to Larson but same sniper shoots it in midair, spilling all of the soda on the sand) Larson: You Commie bastards!!!! Air Force: Roger, this is Darkstar 6-2. Airstrike inbound. (two A-10s bomb position B) Larson: Sweet Jesus titty cinnamon! Steve: What?! Larson: I don't know. I heard it somewhere from this guy named Scooter. You heard of him? Steve: Well,that is the coolest thing I've seen in my entire life. Larson: Wow, you must have low expectations then. Steve: Just shut up, Larson. ---- Post-Battle Larson: Damn, that was crazy. (Steve points M9 at Larson) Larson:What is this, payback? (Steve shoots Russian sniper about to stab Larson over his shoulder) Sniper: Nyet!!!!(rolling around in pain due to leg wound) Sanford: (in Russian) What is your name? (sniper replies in Russian) Sanford: He says he's this "man of iron". I gotta take a piss, watch him for me, ok? (Sanford goes behind wall) Steve: (turning away, along with Larson) He's a douchebag. Larson:I know, right? I mean, he's- (as Steve and Larson continue conversation, TMOI steals M1 Abrams) BOOOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Larson: What the hell was that?! ( they go to Sanford's last location and find a smoldering hole in the ground.TMOI can be heard laughing his ass off in distance) Larson: Damn Commie bastards! TO BE CONTINUED Category:Blog posts